G: Happy belated birthday Kulfmeister!
G: How does it feel to be five years old?
D: I’m not five years old.
G: Oh…right. I forgot. Let’s see, five times seven is…uh…umm…
G: Patience, I was getting there.
D: Ran out of fingers? Anyway, I’m not thirty-five either.
G: What? I thought one dog year was equal to seven human years.
D: Oh ye of the dull mind. It’s not that easy, Einstein.
G: Why not?
D: Because it varies by breed.
G: Hmmm, well then, how old are you, you Rough Collie you?
D: Thirty-four, point two.
G: Point two, huh?
D: If I were a Belgian Shepherd, I’d be thirty-seven…point two.
G: Wow! I didn’t know about this dog age stuff.
D: And if I were an Irish Wolfhound, I’d be forty-six, flat.
G: Holy Camoly! We’re talking like, over the hill.
D: So, I’m just wondering. How are we doing on the treat front?
G: Maybe I should cut back on your treats; so you live even longer.
D: Unhappy dogs die sooner.
D: Not to mention their owners…almost standing at death’s door.
G: OhhhhKay…Let me go check on our treats’ situation.
Dog Age to Human Age Conversion Calculator: https://www.ajdesigner.com/fl_dog_age/dog_age.php
Gershon short story, The Keyboardist: http://pub.lucidpress.com/crackthespine224/#YpzHG7ztBYfT
Photo by Delany Dawson: https://unsplash.com/photos/BXs8SjVelKs